Sara, 19 years old.
I feel too much, love too easily and have high hopes. Please excuse my mood swings and enjoy the pretty things :)
"Life is an ugly, awful place not to have a best friend" - S. Dessen

Today is just an all-around bad day. And nothing bad happened. On the outside, I was happy and laughing and going shopping with my family. 

On the inside? On the inside I was driving myself crazy with those stupid thoughts.

Worrying.

Feeling insecure.

Missing people. 

Worrying.

Feeling INSECURE.

Thinking about things that I really shouldn’t be thinking about because it has nothing to do with me and will only make me feel worse about myself and besides it’s all in the past now so what do I care? It’s not like I didn’t do the exact same thing. So why am I jealous? Seriously. WHY. 

All I’m doing is making myself feel worthless. Like I always do. Always, always, always. Worrying worrying worrying. 

I’M SICK OF IT. I hate this part of myself. If each part of my personality was an actual person, I would KILL this part without a second thought. Ugh.

13. July 2014

Every time I try to start a post, I go blank. I’ll have an idea, but by the time I sit down and start to write it out, I feel…stuck. 

There’s a lot going on in my head these days. 

  • I feel like an outsider amongst my Malaysian relatives
  • I’m not sure if I’m going to Bangkok anymore, and that means letting people down, as usual
  • I’m scared to write about what I truly want to write about; I fear…

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